Got this quiz (Caring Quiz) from this site: http://www.blended-families.com/stephero/caring.php
I regularly receive SterHeroes email and occassionally take the opportunity to read them. But everytime that I do, I find them very thought provoking.
The article this time was a thought provoking quiz about how often I show love and appreciation to other people. I liked it. I reminded me of things I really need to work on.
First, A Quiz from Charles Schultz
Here's an eye-opening quiz for you, from the late Charles Schultz:
Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolade and certificates are buried with their owners.
I was unable to answer any of them. That was an easy point to understand, because I immediately knew where this was headed. I think it can be easy to get swept up in the media-hype and think that's what it's all about. To believe the most importance considerations are achieving more, doing more, making more money. But day to day and year to year, those considerations never are. Life and time spent in it IS more about the people around me. Sure, I need to sustain or create the quality and comfortable life I want, but I need to remember balance. I mean, really, what am I working for anyway? Certainly not to buy more stuff. Certainly not to actually be at work. And definitely not to achieve the higher rung on the corporate ladder. I learned a long time ago that there are only a FEW people that can achieve that. And those people are smart, yes, but ALSO connected. I do not do politics well at all. Workplace wants you to believe that hard work will get you there and get you recognized, but that isn't the reality. Most of us, including me, are good, normal, hard working folk. With LITTLE recognition through pay and higher titles.
So, okay, how do I really then feel accomplished when the external recognition isn't there. It's through DEMONSTRATED appreciation from others. And definitely BALANCE - me taking it and NOT being pressured to do otherwise (which lately, has been an incredibly bad problem). I work extremely hard and I am good at what I do, my clients LOVE my deliverables and the work I do. And I AM well paid for it, but I do not really balance very well. And my client was extremely demanding. And some of the folks I worked with were, are pompous, arrogant, and dismissive (which annoys me considering I work hard to develop requirements that they generally pick and choose from or simply ignore). And I have some particularly gruesome and very emotional behaviors when I get overworked. It's probably a personality disorder of some type, because I can be cold and angry in return when I get overworked. And I can get extremely painful do deal with when the work I do is ignored or dismissed. I DO take it personally.
And those attitudes have come home with me or have been part of my home when similar things happened at home. I generally have NOT liked the fact that I'm breaking my back at work only to then come home to an unappreciative household. The lack of appreciation and entitled attitudes...ugh. Teenagers, especially "self involed-suffering teens", totally SUCK to be around. Oh, enough...What a real DOWNER for me to ever think about. For a lot of reasons.
I also tend to focus on things and accomplishing things rather than spending time communicating or being with people. Although, I must admit that over the last few years, I've been concentrating on turning the passion I have for creating into giving. I also make sure to spend time with like minded individuals. And what I create usually turns into presents for others I care about. Unfortunately, I have probably been a "safe" giver. I am more apt to give something to someone I work with and don't really care too much about PERSONALLY than I am to give to the people I feel closest to. I know EXACTLY why I do that. Long term abuse, hurt and disappointment have shyed me away from that.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Easier? The lesson?
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.
They are the ones that care. - C. Schultz
Well, of course, this one was very easy.
Teachers: My engineering mentors, Dr. Blalock and Dr. Gibson. My 6th grade teacher (I forget his name), my 9th Grade English teacher (I forget her name), Ray Lewis (my photography teacher), Al - my painting teacher(can't spell his last name)
Friends: Matt, Rah-Rah's, but particularly Ginny and Jean
Worthwhile Teachers: Dr. G, Tom Schrenk, Carl Zimmerman, Ray Lewis, Al Sw---enski (I cannot spell his name), Ginny
Feel appreciation: Dave, Heather, Ginny, Jean, Robin, Debbie
Spending Time with: Dave (husband), Candace (daughter), Heather, Nina, Rick, Pete, Foster, Paul (all of PHENA really) and the yoga teacher who always makes me smile - Joyce, and definitely my Rah-Rah's (although we only get to eat together for short visits now, which I don't like so much...because I really don't like visiting with eating involved, but that a different ISSUE altogether.)
Oh, and I have to mention that I REALLY like spending time with my cats and dog. They are really alot of fun to watch sometimes.
Heroes: Malcolm X, Deb, Gloria Steinem
The Caring Quiz
Now, here's my quiz for my subscribers:
List three things you've done recently to show your appreciation for your partner.
Name the favorite colors of everyone in your household.
Think of at least two things each of the children in your home have done in the last 24 hours that is positive.
Think of five ways you've demonstrated your love for your family.
List ten things that you are grateful for right now.
List five positive traits that you bring to your family.
Show Appreciation:
Took him coffee on Saturday morning
Did his laundry on Saturday
Scratched his back and was very physically demonstrative (I usually am)
Colors:
Dave = Green
John = Blue
Positive:
John made us dinner last night!!!
Followed through on the two things I gave him to do without ANY attitude.
Ways display love to family:
Pay our bills on time
Prepare meals most of the time
Do the grocery shopping
Make their birthday cakes
Make them gifts
Grateful:
I am comfortable and am well paid for the work I do
I have a few really good, friends that accept me for who I am
I can have fun in my art classes or with my friends
I have a good relationship with my daughter
I have a warm, loving husband
I have 3 awesome cats that I enjoy immensely
Clyde, the dog, is still hanging in there and is such a special guy
I have good health
I have good eyesight
I have made my way back into Mom's life
My good traits:
I am disciplined and pay bills on time
I am a good cook
I am reliable
I am straight forward
I address problems quickly
This was a good article. It reminded me that I really need to show love and appreciation in order to receive it. I've spent a good amount of my life withholding, because of the physical and emotional abuse I received growing up. And because of hurt and disappointment as an adult. And being undermined, lied to and used as a step-mom. I know, not the attitude I need. But now, that is not part of my life and I need to work on trusting other people and opening up so this empty pit I have felt most of my life can be filled with joy. You'll notice in my positive traits that I am not a typical "mom-type" person. I don't really dote or marvel at their accomplishments. I guess I consider most things like that expectations, especially since I know they are bright. I tell them that, by the way, but I don't go on and on about how well they do. I am generally not physically demonstrative (hugging, etc)or "warm" with any of my kids, but I am with my husband. Not even Candace, although we do hug and kiss when we see each other. I just never really sat still long enough to enjoy having her on my lap when she was little, etc. And now, with my step kids, I am not physically close. Discomfort on both sides, I think.
Anyway, being more open about how well people do and SHOWING (in different ways) more appreciation other than bill paying, laundry doing, and food preparation would probably do me some good.
I regularly receive SterHeroes email and occassionally take the opportunity to read them. But everytime that I do, I find them very thought provoking.
The article this time was a thought provoking quiz about how often I show love and appreciation to other people. I liked it. I reminded me of things I really need to work on.
First, A Quiz from Charles Schultz
Here's an eye-opening quiz for you, from the late Charles Schultz:
Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolade and certificates are buried with their owners.
I was unable to answer any of them. That was an easy point to understand, because I immediately knew where this was headed. I think it can be easy to get swept up in the media-hype and think that's what it's all about. To believe the most importance considerations are achieving more, doing more, making more money. But day to day and year to year, those considerations never are. Life and time spent in it IS more about the people around me. Sure, I need to sustain or create the quality and comfortable life I want, but I need to remember balance. I mean, really, what am I working for anyway? Certainly not to buy more stuff. Certainly not to actually be at work. And definitely not to achieve the higher rung on the corporate ladder. I learned a long time ago that there are only a FEW people that can achieve that. And those people are smart, yes, but ALSO connected. I do not do politics well at all. Workplace wants you to believe that hard work will get you there and get you recognized, but that isn't the reality. Most of us, including me, are good, normal, hard working folk. With LITTLE recognition through pay and higher titles.
So, okay, how do I really then feel accomplished when the external recognition isn't there. It's through DEMONSTRATED appreciation from others. And definitely BALANCE - me taking it and NOT being pressured to do otherwise (which lately, has been an incredibly bad problem). I work extremely hard and I am good at what I do, my clients LOVE my deliverables and the work I do. And I AM well paid for it, but I do not really balance very well. And my client was extremely demanding. And some of the folks I worked with were, are pompous, arrogant, and dismissive (which annoys me considering I work hard to develop requirements that they generally pick and choose from or simply ignore). And I have some particularly gruesome and very emotional behaviors when I get overworked. It's probably a personality disorder of some type, because I can be cold and angry in return when I get overworked. And I can get extremely painful do deal with when the work I do is ignored or dismissed. I DO take it personally.
And those attitudes have come home with me or have been part of my home when similar things happened at home. I generally have NOT liked the fact that I'm breaking my back at work only to then come home to an unappreciative household. The lack of appreciation and entitled attitudes...ugh. Teenagers, especially "self involed-suffering teens", totally SUCK to be around. Oh, enough...What a real DOWNER for me to ever think about. For a lot of reasons.
I also tend to focus on things and accomplishing things rather than spending time communicating or being with people. Although, I must admit that over the last few years, I've been concentrating on turning the passion I have for creating into giving. I also make sure to spend time with like minded individuals. And what I create usually turns into presents for others I care about. Unfortunately, I have probably been a "safe" giver. I am more apt to give something to someone I work with and don't really care too much about PERSONALLY than I am to give to the people I feel closest to. I know EXACTLY why I do that. Long term abuse, hurt and disappointment have shyed me away from that.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Easier? The lesson?
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.
They are the ones that care. - C. Schultz
Well, of course, this one was very easy.
Teachers: My engineering mentors, Dr. Blalock and Dr. Gibson. My 6th grade teacher (I forget his name), my 9th Grade English teacher (I forget her name), Ray Lewis (my photography teacher), Al - my painting teacher(can't spell his last name)
Friends: Matt, Rah-Rah's, but particularly Ginny and Jean
Worthwhile Teachers: Dr. G, Tom Schrenk, Carl Zimmerman, Ray Lewis, Al Sw---enski (I cannot spell his name), Ginny
Feel appreciation: Dave, Heather, Ginny, Jean, Robin, Debbie
Spending Time with: Dave (husband), Candace (daughter), Heather, Nina, Rick, Pete, Foster, Paul (all of PHENA really) and the yoga teacher who always makes me smile - Joyce, and definitely my Rah-Rah's (although we only get to eat together for short visits now, which I don't like so much...because I really don't like visiting with eating involved, but that a different ISSUE altogether.)
Oh, and I have to mention that I REALLY like spending time with my cats and dog. They are really alot of fun to watch sometimes.
Heroes: Malcolm X, Deb, Gloria Steinem
The Caring Quiz
Now, here's my quiz for my subscribers:
List three things you've done recently to show your appreciation for your partner.
Name the favorite colors of everyone in your household.
Think of at least two things each of the children in your home have done in the last 24 hours that is positive.
Think of five ways you've demonstrated your love for your family.
List ten things that you are grateful for right now.
List five positive traits that you bring to your family.
Show Appreciation:
Took him coffee on Saturday morning
Did his laundry on Saturday
Scratched his back and was very physically demonstrative (I usually am)
Colors:
Dave = Green
John = Blue
Positive:
John made us dinner last night!!!
Followed through on the two things I gave him to do without ANY attitude.
Ways display love to family:
Pay our bills on time
Prepare meals most of the time
Do the grocery shopping
Make their birthday cakes
Make them gifts
Grateful:
I am comfortable and am well paid for the work I do
I have a few really good, friends that accept me for who I am
I can have fun in my art classes or with my friends
I have a good relationship with my daughter
I have a warm, loving husband
I have 3 awesome cats that I enjoy immensely
Clyde, the dog, is still hanging in there and is such a special guy
I have good health
I have good eyesight
I have made my way back into Mom's life
My good traits:
I am disciplined and pay bills on time
I am a good cook
I am reliable
I am straight forward
I address problems quickly
This was a good article. It reminded me that I really need to show love and appreciation in order to receive it. I've spent a good amount of my life withholding, because of the physical and emotional abuse I received growing up. And because of hurt and disappointment as an adult. And being undermined, lied to and used as a step-mom. I know, not the attitude I need. But now, that is not part of my life and I need to work on trusting other people and opening up so this empty pit I have felt most of my life can be filled with joy. You'll notice in my positive traits that I am not a typical "mom-type" person. I don't really dote or marvel at their accomplishments. I guess I consider most things like that expectations, especially since I know they are bright. I tell them that, by the way, but I don't go on and on about how well they do. I am generally not physically demonstrative (hugging, etc)or "warm" with any of my kids, but I am with my husband. Not even Candace, although we do hug and kiss when we see each other. I just never really sat still long enough to enjoy having her on my lap when she was little, etc. And now, with my step kids, I am not physically close. Discomfort on both sides, I think.
Anyway, being more open about how well people do and SHOWING (in different ways) more appreciation other than bill paying, laundry doing, and food preparation would probably do me some good.
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